Guys, I am now listed as a Type 1 fragile diabetic. Without my insulin pump for more than an hour or two, it could mean my life. There are over 57 million Americans faced with these issues in some form or another. Several can NOT get the help they need. I am very lucky I have decent insurance. the cost of my pump was over $9,000 dollars, and my monthly supplies and meds are $1800 a month. Could you pay that out of pocket if your life depended on it? Please, write to congress, senators, newspapers, TV Stations, radio stations, anyone who will listen. Let our voices be heard. Help America be strong. You never know, you could be the next one without insurance facing these cost. Please people, help one another. Please!

~Holy shit,, ouchy ouchy ouchy. I love my tattoo. It was a hard one to face. My spine hurt. Now I only have one more to do. My kanji for my Dharma name. then it is done, my lifelong materpiece. I'll be getting my touch up at the party. btw it is the 2nd weekend of September. Mark your calendars and let me know. We will be sending out invites. If you don't get one, please let me know. We will have a website you can register at. Thanks all. oh, FYI, this second part is mainly for Hannah, she obesses about me and follows me online, just thought I would throw it in.

~ Hannah you have no clue to my finances. Tattoo's are free for me! I throw a party every year for these friends of mine (something you may never have, true friends that is), I help them stay in business and in return, they take care of me. Now that is karma, also something you don't understand. So woman, don't ever even try to pretend you understand my life, finances, or thoughts. You gave that up, ran away for another man, and screwed your own life up. Not my fault. You have destroed your own life, your misery is your own, nothing related to me. You don't talk bad in front of Dayvid, bull fucking shit! You spent 2 hours yelling over his hospital bed about how shitty I was, how you are almighty God, and perfect. Calling Amber an abuser! I guess you don't remeber you beating Ariel and Ashlie with hair brushes, sending a 3 year old to the Maverick with a dollar across 2 busy streets so you could have a quicky with a stranger on our couch (which you broke). Don't remember trying to run us off the freeway with Dayvid in our car because you was angry that Ariel and Ashlie had lost any connection with you. How about the police report where both you and your mother had wished Dayvid had a severe life threatening asthma attack (this being reported by a non-bias police officer)? Don't remeber all that? Selective memory? Here is the bite in the ass. During this whole onslaught you threw at me over Dayvid's hospital bed. I sat very calmly and apologized to you. I asked you to go to a safe enviroment for therapy where we could work it out for Dayvid's sake. You were more interested in yelling at me, being angry and revengeful. You told me you didn't want to go, but I should, so she could see through my bullshit. Ha! I'm willing to go, but you hide. Are you afraid she will actually see who is flinging bullshit? Dayvid even asked you to stop fighting ( while he lay there close to death), you reply, " honey, we are not fighting, we are talking loudly." Dayvid replies, "mom, stop talking loudly". I called you out of a courtesy because I knew it was best for Dayvid. Would you have done the same? The answer is no. When he broke his arms, I didn't find out till weeks later. Maybe next time I should just not mention it to you until it's over. What do I get for being kind to you, giving you photos you had lost or cut up? You calling DCFS! Which by the way, he apologized for bothering us after we showed him all the court papers. And finally, the medical bills you complained about me not paying? A whole $1700 dollars, and by the way, child support was caught up untill that, well aside from the insurance, the bill for Dayvid's stay at the hospital is racking up near $30,000. After insurance, I am sure you'll owe me a bit more than $1700. I'll request the Commisioner to deduct the difference and let's see how fast you pay me back, lol. So again Hannah, you proved yourself to still be you. Angry, sad, deppressed and confused. I have severe pity for you my love. I pray you find help for your illness before it destroys Dayvid. I plan to beg the courts to force you to get help. I will meditate for you dear.
 

Nuff, 'said.

Micheal Eric Doryu Olsen

micheal.olsen@gmail.com
Home: 801.669.8082

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~I put up several pictures of his Holiness The Dalai Lama. about 30 or so small ones. I've also added a poster of President Obama. I have all my Zen artwork, a copy of my official Dharma name, and several quotes from the Dalai Lama. I also made a beautiful copy of the tattoo I am getting on the 25th. It is a drawing of a Buddha looking at a river bed with the kanji that says "Learn to be still". My dad use to tell me that as a child. now it rings so true with my life. He is an intelligent Guru. I've also framed pictures of Maezumi Roshi, Genpo Roshi, Bernie Glassman Roshi, and Ken Wilber. They are all amazing men. I study under Genpo Roshi. The books and movies made by these men are life changing. Having this inspiration on my  walls at work really improves my attitude. I've also noticed that it is passed onto my merchants. They seem happier and my soul seems lighter.

~I have two fake plants, instructions Amber laminated instructions for my daily task. I brought in a second monitor for my computer. I have supplies, pens, food and medicines in my drawers. I have my own headset with two ear pieces, and a life saving fan that keeps me cool.

~I also have a digital photo frame with hundreds of family photos, photos of Dayvid, and yes even my ex, Hannah with Dayvid (it just seems to be happier times). I also have pics of parents, sisters, pets, events, concerts, and more. I even have pics of me dressed as the hulk, in the military and also when my kids were babies.

~Now I must admit, I still have my Wolverine, Hulk, Spidey, Iron Man and Tele tubby action figures. Along with my Barack Obama action figure in mint condition and with the almighty pointy finger saying "Yes We Can". I also have laminated pictures of Princess Lea, Tom and Jerry, Pica choo, Charlie Brown, Han Solo, a cute cat loving on a horse, and other silly pics.

~I even have a charcoal drawing I did of Dayvid and myself.

~Overall, I am super pleased with my area, and my work is benefiting from my attitude. Woo Hoo.

Nuff, 'said.

Micheal Eric Doryu Olsen

micheal.olsen@gmail.com
Home: 801.669.8082

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~And so as I spend more time in my practice, I become more aware of everything around, in, and of me. I am finding minor little connections that are not so minor. For instance, at work, I have usually averaged about 2 to 3 sales per pay period (2 weeks). Well this last week, I studied my products, and then paid great detail to what my merchants where saying. When I listened between the words, I could hear their needs. I knew if they had money issues, or if they were frustrated with marketing and so forth. As I dedicated myself to connecting closer to my merchants as human beings and not as just the next call, it all just sort of clicked. In 4 days, I made 6 sales! Also, I felt as if they were the exact product that the merchant needed to make their site successful.

~I am working on my own site and will have it running soon. Just waiting for the wholesaler to give me legal notices, wholesale pricing, and sku numbers. Then Trogs will be a go! After that, I plan to research other products and market sites for smaller companies. I am working on two other sites. One is for Stan Man Stu Taylor. I will have him the most impressive massage website ever. And it will be ranked in the top 10. I also have another product in mind. It's a special tool designed and used in gold mining. Then my buddy Daniel has a totally crazy pod cast that rocks! I am going to attempt to host and design a new site for him with special bells and whistles. As this business grows and provides more security and financial support for my family, I'll be able to retire from a 9 to 5 job, work my ass off at home, and then adjust my schedule so I can participate with the Kanzeon center more and work with Big Mind. I am excited to see the works that comes out of this process.

~I believe that all of this is has been a life long process to prepare me for what is next. I mean really. It sounds far fetched, but each moment we live, is fluid, and much like ripples in the pond, they affect everything around them. So our one moment we experience, lends itself to the next moment and onto the next. Until we wash up onto the shore. The point being is this. I am grounded. I am also flow. I am Doryu, and I am. My moments, my experiences, good, bad or indifferent have prepared me for this moment, and for this moment, and also for this moment. See how that is? Very cool, huh?

~Nuff' ,said.

~If we could, a person should be considered an adult only after a few things were discovered of the person.

1. Are they responsible for their own actions?

2. Do they care for other sentient beings and the rights of those?

3. Do they have genuine love, respect and compassion?

~If you can answer yes to all three then a person deserves the privileges of being an adult in our society. However, if a person demonstrates a gross neglect of nature’s law, such as a 14 year old boy murdering another child, then I feel that person should be convicted as an adult. The juvenile system seems to be lacking.

~Nuff,’said.

~Okay so call it what you will, maybe a drug induced hallucination or a spiritual message from the beyond. Either way, I am taking it seriously. Mainly because it is either something from the other side warning me, or it is my subconscious trying to save me.

~I had surgery today for an umbilical hernia repair. I was trying to show Ariel how to do proper pushups. I got to about 200 of them,okay only about 4, but who is counting? I felt this pain. I blew out my belly button and my guts were popping out. OUCH! I also had a cold today and wasn’t feeling well. I couldn’t take my medications this morning and so I also felt really nervous. I was afraid I might even die on the table.

~So the doc puts me under and all of a sudden I was in a forest sitting on a bench with a bald man in white robes. I can’t recall facial details much. He was tall and slender. His voice was very calming. He started by saying that I could give in now and die. I remember that I didn’t feel scared or nervous. I knew what he meant and felt a sense of peace with it. I also knew it wasn’t time for me yet and explained that I would choose to stay.

~He went on to say that I’ve reached a point where decisions needed to be made. He told me that if I stayed on the same path I was currently on I would pass on to the next life within a year or so. He explained that Amber has given up and won’t survive long in this world unless I make choices, change, and lead by example. I remember feeling extreme sorrow at that point. I felt as if I had completely failed my wife. As if I had caused her damage over the past 8 years. I then decided I would make the changes required. I asked him how to start.

~He told me to take baby steps and not to think about the whole elephant. He told me how to set goals and just make small changes at first. He also told me that Amber would resist at first but that I should remain calm and patient. He also tried to prepare me for the worst situation. He explained that my love and desire for Amber was not enough to change her path. If she decided against the changes or had already totally given up then I would lose her here shortly. Just thinking about that shakes my soul. I feel as if it is my fault. I wonder if she would have been happier in life if we had never met.

~He went on to say that all of my children have a lot of anger and sadness in their lives. He explained the loss they feel in their tiny souls. I was told that Amber’s and my changes would improve their lives greatly and provide guidance for them.

~He told me that my anger towards Hannah’s actions with Dayvid could potentially destroy everything I have if I did not let it go. I told him I could not give up on Dayvid. He stressed to me that I could love Dayvid and be a great father to him and still have the ability to forgive Hannah for her actions and mis-treatment of our son.

~He then went on to tell me that I needed to be strong for my mother. He said that here shortly she would see her own mother pass and also my father. My heart aches at the thought of losing my dad. I understand why, but I still feel like a child needing his daddy. I need to make sure that he knows I love him and how proud I am of him. He is a great man and a good father. He did right by me. I love him so very much.

~Then in the final moments he explained that my current spiritual path was correct. That it suited me well and offered me explanations for my questions. He told me that it would be a difficult path and that I would resist it at times but that it would benefit all living beings eventually. He said if I was willing to be fluid, make necessary changes, and follow my heart that I would become a great teacher for my family, friends, and any who came into contact with me.

~He then reached up and put his hand on my shoulder. The next thing I knew I was waking up. Want to know the weird part to all of this? All of my past surgeries I was in excellent health and had a hard time waking up from it. They say I have a weird reaction to it. I mean it normally takes me 2 to 3 days to fully come around. Now today, I have a cold, no meds, freaking out, but afterwards, I wake up feeling like Superman. I came to in about 30 minutes. I was sitting up, doing fine. I left the hospital an hour and a half after waking up! I think my choice to live inspired my body to heal. How weird and cool is that? So tell me your take on all of this. What the hell happened? Did I drop the soap? Am I being told something? What would you do if it happened to you? Has anything like this happened to you? If so, tell me about it. Love you all.

~Nuff,’said.

~P.S. This statement is for the benefit of all those Broadweave employees out there who are so interested in my journal. I hope you guys are enjoying your Google Alerts. Thanks for reading.